Hello 2019.

I’m not going to be making any typical New Year’s resolutions like I have in the past. They’re always some kind of goal that seems to be centered around “fixing” myself. Yes, it’s always good to be open to self-improvement and growing.. I think I will always be striving for that. But, my goal for 2019 is SELF-LOVE. In all ways, always. ♥️

We can be so damn hard on ourselves and a big lesson I learned throughout this journey is that when I’m taking care of myself, my life seems to fall into place. I’m happier and my life seems to attract positivity and the right people and energy to me. The end.

So, for 2019, what if you just committed yourself to loving yourself more?

2018 Reflections

On this New Year’s Eve, I reflect on all that’s happened.

First, I have to say that never in my life would I have imagined being where I am today one year ago.  It’s truly amazing how much life can change in such a short period of time.  2018 brought a great deal of loss to me early on.

In a span of about 2 months (March and April), I saw the end of an unhealthy and toxic 6-year relationship that was draining the life out of me.  With that, I not only lost the home I had built over the last 5 years, but I lost my doggie, Klare, along with several relationships that I cared deeply about (in-laws, mutual friends, and stepkids).  And then, a month after I left, my cat, Khloe, passed away pretty suddenly.  And not even a month later, my family and I suffered the greatest loss of all.  My 92-year-old grandfather lost his 9 month battle to cancer.

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Letter to Little Kristina

Dear Little Kristina,

It is October 2018 and I have been reflecting on all that has transpired over the course of this year and working through so many things, trying to figure out why certain things have happened or why I do certain things the way that I do.

It was on my heart to write you a letter.  A letter that you won’t ever read in time, but one that is still on my heart to write you nonetheless.

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To Compare or Not to Compare

If you’re on Instagram and following a variety of health/weight loss accounts, then you’re probably already aware of a lot of weekly posting rituals.  You’ve got the #mondaymotivation, #transformationtuesday, #wcw, #throwbackthursday, #flashbackfriday, #selfiesaturday.  A lot of it appears to be around the idea of posting a photo of yourself and many of them comparison photos.

In the past few months, I have had multiple people criticize the concept of the side-by-side comparison.  One person told me it was a reason they quit Weight Watchers®, others have announced they would unfollow your account if you posted any before/after (or then/now) photos, and many have moved towards an effort to try and get people to stop looking back, appreciate where you are right now and in the present moment.

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ONEderland.

ONE·der·land
ˈwəndərˌland/
noun
  1. Not to be confused with WONderland, which means a land or place full of wonderful things.
    “London was a wonderland of historical sites, museums, theaters, shops, and entertainment”
  2. weighing below 200lbs and having a weight starting in the ONE hundreds.

I can remember hitting 95lbs of weight loss in October 2016.  It was right after I learned about Blue Dots with the Weight Watchers® app to help monitor a healthy range of points to be eaten daily.  I had gone to Washington, D.C. for a week for work, too.  Yet, I had still lost and hit this milestone weight loss of 95lbs.  I could feel being down 100lbs on my fingertips, which would have been 202lbs.  The much-coveted “ONEderland”—being below 200lbs and officially in the 100’s—awaited me right after.

Wishful thinking.

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