2018 Reflections

On this New Year’s Eve, I reflect on all that’s happened.

First, I have to say that never in my life would I have imagined being where I am today one year ago.  It’s truly amazing how much life can change in such a short period of time.  2018 brought a great deal of loss to me early on.

In a span of about 2 months (March and April), I saw the end of an unhealthy and toxic 6-year relationship that was draining the life out of me.  With that, I not only lost the home I had built over the last 5 years, but I lost my doggie, Klare, along with several relationships that I cared deeply about (in-laws, mutual friends, and stepkids).  And then, a month after I left, my cat, Khloe, passed away pretty suddenly.  And not even a month later, my family and I suffered the greatest loss of all.  My 92-year-old grandfather lost his 9 month battle to cancer.

I never felt so lost and displaced before.  I was living out of suitcases in the spare bedroom of my mom’s house.  But, during that time, my mom and I bonded so much.  And so many of my friends and family came forward to offer their love and support (Jocelyn, Tana, Michelle, Rebecca, Kirsten my AA Crew, all of my HHC ladies, my ILKB Breakfast Club crew, my auntie Carol and cousin Courtney, and many of the men in my life, including my father, uncle, and brother).  In such a short span of time, I went from a time that should have felt so lonely and sad, to feeling so loved and supported.

And in a blink of an eye, I found a perfect apartment right across from the beach.  It gave me the perfect space to create a new home.  A safe sanctuary to get all new things and start fresh.  I absolutely love coming home and you can’t beat a 3 minute commute to work!

About a month later, something I never thought would happen did.  I met Adrian (AB).  At first, I wasn’t prepared to really allow him into my life and he was so patient with me.  He continued to talk to me and we finally decided to meet up.  Not expecting anything, I went to meet him for breakfast—I went in basketball attire, ponytail, no makeup, just me.  From that day, July 22nd, on.. he’s had my attention.  At a time when I didn’t think I could open up my heart for a long time (if ever), AB showed me what love really looks like.  He doesn’t just talk.  He shows with action.  He returns texts.  He returns calls.  He shows thoughtfulness and care.  He is respectful and considerate.  He is mature and patient.  He is constantly trying to push me to be a better version of myself.  He challenges me in healthy ways.  He makes me want to be and do better.  He’s brought God back into my life in so many ways.  My heart is so full and I don’t know that I’ve ever been this happy before. I am blessed and grateful to see the end of 2018 with my head held high and with you by my side. 🙏🏼🎉😘

Goodbye, 2018.  It’s been quite a journey, but I see how everything that’s happened to me has happened FOR me.

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