“Is our desire for the end of the pandemic a desire to reestablish not just our day-to-day routines but also to return to all the distraction and noise that allow us not to think about the meaning of life? This is not to say that the pandemic is a good thing, but it’s an opportunity to ask, what if the thing you’re waiting for never arrives? What if instead of waiting, you act or think differently instead of trying to go back to the way things were?”
My dear friend shared this quote from a Yale professor named Shane Vogel from an article in The Atlantic entitled, “What If the Thing You’re Waiting for Never Arrives?”.
It’s such a powerful quote, because I think so many of us are desperately wanting the pandemic to end to go back to lives we once had. We are even grieving a life, routines, friendships, experiences and things we once had. The pandemic has changed a lot of things for everyone.
This quote has got me deep in thought about what this new life is for me and how I’m adjusting to it. How I think so much of my desperation in wanting this pandemic to be over has been that with it comes a return to a life I once had. Things I loved and enjoyed but which certainly kept me busy and constantly on the move without much time to really sit and be with myself. But the truth is, many of the changes that came with the pandemic are now here to stay.
I no longer get to see my bestie in-person each week at my WW meetings. I have not been traveling for work and enjoying trips with my coworker in far away fun places. I no longer regularly get to see my gym wifey and many of our kickboxing friends on a daily basis each day before work. My time with AB has been limited due to job relocation and busy schedules. I also have new commitments to these 2 adorable fur babies I took on and let’s not forget I got into grad school. A LOT OF CHANGE.
It has left me with a lot of time to myself and to work through my shit. Or at least attempt to. And truthfully, the pandemic ending isn’t going to fix or resolve most of those things. At least for the foreseeable future.
So finding a new way of managing and working through this life as it is right now—today. Letting go of the hope and desire to control things and working so hard to get them back to the way they were and avoiding the life left ahead of me.
I cannot wait for the pandemic to end. I must move forward and, for now, I am grateful for my health, a career I love and enjoy, and a new and challenging adventure taking on grad school. And I’ve got so much support from the friends, family and loving partner by my side to help get me through it. 🙏🏼❤😭